Question: Nature vs. Nurture

So since I didn't feel like writing anything today, I have a question I wanted to revisit.

A while ago me and damn near all of my facebook friends were having an argument on whether or not it was NATURAL to be monogamous. It's my personal opinion that it's not NATURAL to be with one person sexually, but societal norm natures us to believe that this is how we should be...

I need to know though, once and for all. Is it natural to be with just ONE person? And if no, then can you blame your partner for cheating on you??

Sex Em', but Don't Kiss Em'

So is kissing still alive? Is it still considered a possible precursor to sex? A lot of men and women have adapted a no kiss rule unless they are involved in serious relationships. Other than the obvious concerns about mouth sores, when did the disdain over kissing become so strong?? In high school kissing was my sh!t. I had the joint mastered and perfected to a ‘T’, I knew if I kissed her I was at least going to feel a titty. That’s just how powerful my lip game was. Now it’s like if you try to kiss someone you’ve ruined the atmosphere. Completely sucked the lust out the room.

The worst is trying to go in for the kiss and the person either jumps out the way or damn near breaks their neck trying to avoid your lips. And then there’s the awkward pause afterwards followed by the inevitable “I’m not really into the whole kissing thing” speech. Years ago when I was still out there like that, I experienced being on both ends of the spectrum. Somewhere along the way I realized that kissing was no longer THE move, I too adapted a dislike for kissing.

As the one trying to go in for the kiss I found it hard to bounce back and find my sexy once my kiss attempt was rejected. Kissing was my go to move, my best offensive weapon at one point. So if my try was shut down, I didn’t really have a back up plan. I was kinda stuck on an island because I was never too fond of kissing necks (and the ear thing kinda grossed me out too). I mean I wasn’t out there kissing any and every old jawn, but coming up that’s what I practiced on (don’t act like you never hit the back of your hand up either nigga!). I even asked a couple of older girls to kiss me and tell me how good I was or what I needed to work on. It was THAT important to me.

Then in college, probably about halfway through freshman year, I realized that I too had adopted a no kiss law. I would damn near hop out of a bed/car (this was freshman year, things could get freaky) to avoid lips. I remember me and a couple of my boys exchanging stories “Man, do you know this chick tried to KISS me?” we would say, as if she had tried to bite a hole in our throats. It seemed like in college people just got sloppy with the kissing, maybe it was due to the fact that alcohol was now in the picture, but it was just a turn off. When I felt like someone was leaning in to kiss me I’d turn my head so they got my neck only, then I’d act is if I liked it. Truthfully in my head I was wishing I could just fast forward to the part right BEFORE… you know… But I couldn’t so I had to just sit there and let my neck be lathered up with saliva. Gross.

Yea, once I got to college people just didn’t take the art as serious anymore. They’d either have WAY too much spit in their mouth or lick their lips too wet or worse, their lips would be cracked and dry. Then you had those who started trying this new freaky type of kiss where they would bite your lips. I mean I’m all for growth and development and trying something new, but the whole chomping on my lips thing just WAS NOT sexy. I faked it a couple times, acted like I liked it, but truthfully I thought it was just ass and painful. Maybe there was ONE girl who did it and I enjoyed, but other than that, negative. Also, women started applying too much damn lip-gloss. FYI ladies, MAC lip-gloss is WAY too sticky to be trying to kiss with. Like… ilk… you’re better off just getting Balmex or some sort of flavored balm. It may be nice in the club or for pictures, but if you think you’re going to end up kissing, have a backup lip gloss more conducive with lip locking than Mac.

Obviously kissing is VERY intimate, it’s extremely up close and personal. Throw in the times when you lock eyes and you have moments when you can literally see someone’s soul, face to face. For some it’s too intimate though. I asked my homegirl just like night how she felt about kissing and this is what she said: “…yea man, cant go around kissing everyone you sexin’”. I was shocked that she said it because she’s so not the whorish type at all. And it got me to thinking if even women like her aren’t down, then kissing is dead!

But the ones who like it, love it. And the ones who don’t like it, would rather be shot than participate. It just sounds crazy to me that people are perfectly fine having sex with someone, but not kissing. I don’t know if that says kissing is that disgusting or sex is that casual (probably a combo of the two). I’m still stuck somewhere in the middle on it. It has to be the right person, right time and I would have to KNOW you, and WELL. I need feedback on this one though: Kissing, yes or no? Why or why not? Comment Below.