FIRST MOVE JITTERS

First Move Jitters

One of the most nerve racking things about dating/getting intimate with a female, at least to me, has always been to judge making the first move. Now that may seem trivial as hell, but the way and timing of the first “sexual” move can make or break a) a potential relationship or b) at the very least your night. Now I’m talking exclusively about THE move when you and shorty are together alone at either your house or hers (or for the NWDGF, some club or public place). The move when u decide to go for the gusto. Now depending on how you look at it I’ve either been blessed or cursed to have been thrust into a LOT of situations where I’ve had the privelege/opportunity to be able to make that move. To make this move depends on 2 key components: What kind of girl she is and What kind of dude you are. I’ve been able to characterize these into four roles and they are: Mr. Passive, Mr. Fumbles, Mr. Smoothe & NWDGF.

Mr. Passive.

Mr. Passive is not a confident guy. He goes back and forth debating whether or not she finds him attractive enough to even WANT to have sex with him at all. Usually Mr. Passive is semi-attractive, but he may have been teased as a youngster and now he just walks around hoping for a piece. He looks at the girl out of the corner of his eye when they’re sitting side by side. He keeps physical contact at a minimum just to avoid the confusion of sending the wrong message (i.e. he wants to BONE). Mr passive is definitely a Shy Guy, think Robert Townsend in the Five Heartbeats. When he departs from his lady friends he ALWAYS says or thinks things like “damn, I should have tried to kiss her” , “Damn, why don’t they ever make the first move” or lastly “am I really THAT corny?”… If you guessed Mr. Passive doesn’t have any game, you guessed right. He hears wild stories from his boys who have told him their stories of minimal words leading into wild sex, and he just wants a piece of that action. He doesn’t necessarily want to work hard, but he usually does. Eventually Mr. Passive gets desperate and will just flat out grab a titty at an inopportune time, at which point it’s a WRAP for him. His First Move isn’t really a move at all, once Mr. Passive reaches his breaking point after not having any for weeks, he gets desperate and asks “Can I eat your P#ssy?”… Yes ladies, he’s THAT Guy.

Mr. Fumbles

Mr. Fumbles is a guy who at the start of the night had the world in his palm. He had everything going perfect, he was looking nice, breathe was fresh… He literally could have taken her home within the first 15 min and been GOOD, but now… Not so much. Once alone in private, Mr. Fumbles just cant get right. He is KNOWN for blurting out stupid ass shit, that make girls second guess their decision to sleep with him. But even after the first slip up they still think he’s worthy of a romp in the sack. But Mr. Fumbles just cant ever seem to hold on, and his night always end in a downward spiral. He’s trying to be funny, but he just keeps on insulting her with lines like “Damn why your feet look like that?” or “You cant really cook yo…”. He’s thinking he’s being “whitty” little does he know he is just killing his own night. After the comical insults, Mr. Fumbles can often feel the air being sucked out of the room, so he’ll make a desperate attempt and just try to dive right in. He starts by hugging his lady friend from the back, trying to whisper sexy things, but ultimately is uncovering who he truly is at heart, a corny ass nigga. At this point the girl has had enough! While she made plans for Mr. Fumbles to stay the night, at this point she has indefinitely decided to keep this clown on the couch or at the worst the other side of the bed (n/a in Twin XL college style living, he’s just gonna leave because she forgot about an appointment in the AM). He realizes something has changed so he starts trying to compliment her while turning her on. He then starts to say things like “Damn girl you’re so beautiful”, meanwhile, she’s looking in the opposite direction and he’s trying to rub her butt. Mr. Fumbles just cant get right. His signature move is waiting til about 4 a.m. when his lady friend is sound asleep, he starts to rub her and slide his fingers in-between the crevices of the THICK ASS sweat pants she is now wearing. It never works though and his lady friend never returns his calls thereafter…

Mr. Smooth

Mr. Smooth is THAT guy. The one you see on TV who you want to be. Think of Will Smith in Hitch. He is the envy of a whole lotta brothas (or his white buddies, we embrace all races here at MenWithGirls!), and sought after by a whole lot of women who have had previous run-ins with Mr. Passive and Mr. Fumbles. The main difference between Mr. Smooth and everyone else, is he creates opportunities out of situations he had NO business getting some (i.e. hitting the best friend of an ex, professors, older women, lady officers). When Mr. Smooth is alone with his lady friend, it’s money in the bank. Why? Because Mr. Smooth wont do anything to fuck it up! He wont say anything dumb, he might even stay relatively quiet just to MAKE SURE he doesn’t say anything even remotely close to Mr. Fumbles (I’ve known some dumbass Mr. Smooth’s in my day, and girls didn’t even know they were dumb til they started actually trying to date the guy. But, by that point who cares, really?). He is sensual, he knows the female anatomy so when he goes in for his first move he has already figured her spot to be either the neck, leg, back, hair or whatever part of the body. Mr. Smooth is a rare gem in that he actually knows who he’ll have sex with before the woman does! Gotdamn he’s good! Throughout the night Mr. Smooth gives compliments, touches tenderly, and says things like “I mean I’ve had my share of women, but im past that now”. Sometimes Mr. Smooth is so good at what he does, his first move is falling back and letting his lady friend make the move on him. He is often surprised with candles and lingerie, as most women already know they want him. But if I had to name his first move, its cuddling with strong passionate hand rubs on discreet parts of the body.

NWDGF

This is guy is dangerous. The whole time throughout this article I know you were like what the hell is NWDGF, well let me break it down for you these are NIGGAS WHO DON’T GIVE A FUCK! These guys are aggressive, beyond aggressive. They’re the guys who holla at a girl, and because she says no he spazzes out, calls her a bitch and the whole nine. His mentality when with a jawn (he wouldn’t use the term lady friend, and I don’t say the word bitch) is “I’m GETTING that pussy” and not in a sane sort of way. This nigga will wrestle women til they’re half off the bed just for some skins. His reputation doesn’t precede him because the women he’s left in his wake are kinda afraid. Unlike Mr. Fumbles if at 4am he hasn’t gotten any yet, he’s not trying to rub nothing. He’s straight ripping the sweat pants down and tryna go in raw diggity. Unlike Mr. Smooth he doesn’t care what he says, he’s not monitoring himself for nothing. He usually hates Mr. Smooth in all honesty… Now with all that said NWDGF actually get some. More than just about everybody else but Mr. Smooth. Why? Because some girls just love that ignorant shit. They like when a man just talks to them any kind of way, and a lot of times these are the BADDEST women, ones Mr. Smooth can get with because he’s too smooth. He’s perfectly ignorant, the kind of guy mommy and daddy told this young lady to stay away from when she was growing up. That only made her want him more though. NWDGF are usually in crazy ass relationships where yelling and screaming are constants. And when he does have a jawn over, his wifey usually ends up banging on his door, knowing he’s up to no good. But that wont stop him. NWDGF first move is usually roughhousing or aggressive fondling.

written by rodney rikai